Critical decisions

Wake up with this tought. I've made so many decisions in my life, since i was a little girl, perhaps. And i barely realize that some of those decisions are the critical ones, decisions that changed my life path. And it's very clear that if i didn't take that decisions/actions, my life won't be the same. I even won't be here. 

Here are some critical decisions that i decided in critical conditions as well (at that time), that really changed my life: 

1. My decision to finally entered the best high school in Cilacap (SMA N 1 Cilacap) and also in Immersion class (kind of international class which English spoken)

I used to have a standard dream. I mean, when i'm in my middle school age, i just want to enter an 'average' high school, because i realize that my parents don't have much money to pay my school fee. So i tought that perhaps i will just enter the vocational school (SMK) where i will able to find jobs and work right after i graduate. That was my one simple wish: i want to work as soon as possible so i can support my parents. 

But one day, there was a little voice in my head that told me to try to enter the other school, the best and most prestigious in the city. Finally i chose to take that chance, and voila! I was accepted with some scholarship, and it changed my life. 

2. My (spontaneous) decision to take the entrance test to UI

This was my second critical decision. While waiting my final exams, my friends took so many private course for preparing their university entrance test. Some wanted to enter UI, UGM, UNDIP, ITB, etc. Me? I didn't haha. Well, it doesn't mean that i didn't want to pursue my higher education, but i still couldn't decide where i will pursue it. I was in a very bad condition after my scholarship proposal to Pharmacy UGM was rejected. In my 'low' period, i lost my spirit. 

But some of friends aksed me to try UI entrance test, which i finally did in the last  registration day. Shortly, i was accepted there while my other friends weren't. Again, i was so lucky, eh? 

3. My decision to apply for Lippo Bank Scholarship

Due to my family's economic challenges, i had to find scholarship to fund my tuition fees. So when some persons from Lippo Bank held roadshow to my school and explained about this scholarship, i just wanted to try. Eventough at that time i didn't feel confident because this scholarship was given to some students all over Indonesia, which means the conpetition will be so tough. And i tought that i was just a student from a school in small city. Will i make it? 

Further more, i was the only student that applied for that scholarship (in my school, and even in my city). So i was so nerveous and just rely on Allah SWT for whatever the result is. Finally, i made it. I got this scholarship right after i was accepted to UI. What major did i take? Mathematics. Wow! 

4. My decision to change my major of study from Math to Management

Well, this was the most tough one. 

When i chose my major of study in UI, i chose the major that Lippo Bank Scholarship prefer. Some of them are Math, Statistics, Management, Economics, Law, Accounting, and Psychology. So because i was from natureal science, so i chose Math. I got in, i got the scholarship, so i was supposed to just study hard, right? 

Then i didn't know why my campus life didn't run smoothly like i want. I felt like i really hate what i was doinf there. I didn't like math, i was just not into it. (Well, i've ever wrote about it in my previous post, entitled "eco-no-math" so i won't go too detail). 

So i made this big decision in my life. I can't imagine what i will be if i didn't make this decision. Perhaps i will be dropped-out because of my GPA, or they will cut my scholarship because i can't fulfill the minimum GPA, or even i will be stressed out because of it. But yeah, i'm standing on different path now. 

I was successfully changed my major and studied Management. 

5. My decision to take the opportunity to apply for SFDP (Strategy and Finance Development Program)

Before graduating, i already had a job. Well, not literally a job, actually, because i worked as an intern in Unilever through one of their program, ULIP (Unilever Leadership Internship Program). I worked in HR Department, because i took HR Management as my concentration of study. Right after graduating, CIMB Niaga  (formerly Lippo Bank) offered me to take a test for TCB (The Complete Banker) Program, their prestigious MT program. I took some of the tests, interviews, business presentation, but eventually i failed after the last stage, interview with Director. Then they offered me with another development program, SFDP. Firstly i refused that, because i wasn't from Finance. I don't know much about finance. I don't think will make it there. But they keep confincing me and reminding me that this is a good opportunity bla bla bla. 

So finally i took that chance. Again, spontaneously decided it. Until i got accepted, i learned Finance from zero, and luckily i be The Best Participant. It was like a whoa! 

Since then, i change (again) my life path, to finally live in this Finance world, not HR world as i expected before. 

If i look at those decisions i made in the past, it's clear that almost all of them made in a very spontaneous way. I don't know why, but i'm kind of person that live something spontaneous haha. But one thing for sure is, those decisions really changed my life.

I don't know what will happen if i entered those vocational school. Maybe i will end up like my other old friends who only stay in Cilacap with 'mean' jobs and have 'mean' life. Sorry to say, but that's reality. Thank you, past me!

What will happen if i didn't take the UI entrance test? Perhaps i will end up pursuing my higher degree in nearer campus, perhaps like Unsoed, because the other favorite campuses already closed the registration. But i was in UI instead, learned in this beautiful campus, with all of its pluses and minuses, formed me to become what i am today. 

Thank you, past me!

Who will cover my tuituion fees if i didn't dare to apply for that scholarship? Perhaps i still can continue my study, but what will happen to my parents if i keep burdening them with my expensive fees? What about my two little brothers that also need money for their schools? 

The scholarship really changed my life. My family's life. Because it not only help me but also help my family. I still can save some portion of my scholarship to support my family, which means i already fulfill my dream to pursue my higher education without bothering my family, while i'm also able to support them financially. 

Thank you, past me! 

I don't know how my life will be if i stay in Math. Maybe will be a DO student, jobless, or anything. These was my darkest period on my life where i didn't even know what to do anymore if i don't change that. 

Thank you, past me! 

I will have different path now if i didn't take the chance to join SFDP. Perhaps i still in Unilever now, for i could continue my project there until finally they hire me through UFLP (well, i hope so). 

But now i am about to build my career in Finance world. A whole new world for me, but i'm sure it will bring me so many experiences with anything in it. The most important things is that i have a job now, a permanent job with a good position in a  big multinational bank, with an important job as well. 

Again, thank you, past me!

Thank you for all this spontanity, thank you for always keeping your faith, thank you for your always taking chances. 

You still have to make so many critical decisions ahead. Don't forget to always use your logic ya, and your faith. Taking chances. You'll never know 'til you've tried, in anything. Good things still come your way. 

Thank you, past and present me!