Life lessons

Today is holiday, due to legislative election day. I should back home, but you know that my 'life' and job won't let me go. I'm kinda sad because of it. My mother is hospitalized now but i can do nothing about it. You know, it's such a psychological torture when you know that your parents or relatives get sick but you can't do anything.

In lonely moment like this, sometimes i just want recall and remember all the things -the goods and bads- my family's been through. I realize that our tough lives give me so much experiences and lessons, and teach me how to stay strong no matter what the conditions are. And i get those valuable lessons from my parents. They show me how to live this life, how to face all the problems eventhough when we have no idea abouy what to do with the life itself. Firstly they never tell me to do this and that when i this and that, they just simply act on it and show some examples. In real life. That makes me even respect them because i witness every thing they do to keep our lives go on.

Well, lets we recall it one by one.

I remember when the first time we moved to Cilacap after leaving Wonosobo because of some reasons. I was 6, and still have one little brother of 2 y.o. we rented a room with just a few things we had. Just a couple of plate, glass, spoons, frying pan, and a stove. And of course some clothes. I remembered when my father said to me, a little girl, that we have to start to live modestly. We didn't have anyting, yet. I just nodded to him without knowing what that really meant.

My father worked at PT Semen Nusantara as a contract staff, did extremely dangerous job, that every time he back home i could see his sweat and wrinkled muscle. After a year passed, we finally could buy a bicycle, not a new but second-hand one. We were so excited that we don't have to walk to go to anywhere. My little self always remember how it feels.

Then my father got an offer to work in one of the public school in Cilacap as the 'school guard' because my grandmother (my father's mom) worked there as a teacher, so she offered that job. so for the next one and half year my family lived in a house inside that school. Did some works like guarding the school, cleaning the building, arranging the plants, and even my mother made some snacks to be sold. I was so excited to live around my own school, i had full access to the library that i could read whatever i want and as much as i want. I was so happy :)

Until one day we had a bad news about the missing water pump. We couldn't do anything about it as we didn't realize that it has gone. Then my father had to look for another job. And we forced to move to other place.

Again, my father only could rent a room. A single bedroon. With me and my brother getting older and bigger. Yet i could see his smile and spirit to face whatever live had prepared for us. My father tried to open his own business (or a little company in form of CV). it went well at the first time, so we could rent a house. A whole house, finally. And started to have old motorcycle, refigerator, sofa, TV, and so on. Our lives got better and better. I was in middle school. Then my second little brother born.

But after two years my father run that company, his business got bankcrupt. We had to sell some of our assets to try to build another business. Then my father tried to be a small retailer. He sold everyhting, like snacks, candies, cigarrette, detergent, anything. He bought from his agent friend and sold that all to the other retailer in sub-urbs by riding his old motorcycle. In rain, in sunny, in windy condition. My father never seemed tired of it. I know that he loves his job. He loves his business eventhough it won't make much money for our family. But luckily we always feel enough.

He still do that business until now, actually. But because economic condition's getting worsen lately, the business don't make any profit. My father tried to do another job. he even worked as "a house maker" , a rough and tiring job that i know that must be so tough for an old man like him. But he did it anyway.
My mother also helped by making some snacks to sell. I couldn't help them much. I just promised to myself that i have to be successful person so i can help them and support them for their entire lives.

Until finally i made to go to collage with full scholarship. I could give a little part of my 'scholarship living cost' to support my family. Luckily it went well for about 4 years.

I remember about how we have our first private house. WE MADE THE HOUSE WITH OUR OWN HANDS. literally. Let me tell you about it.

During the day he run his business, my father saved some money to buy a land. After that he bought some bricks, then iron, river stone, cement, and other things to build a house. We first built a house with only half of the wall is bricked. The other half used bamboo. With no ceramics but only soil. And no electricity. True story.
We stand for months wihtout electricity. Just lighted up 'cerosene lamp' that every time we woke up with black nose because of the smoke we breathe haha.

Then we started to literally build our home with our own hands. We made bricks,cultivated the soil and cement, built the wall, then the rooms, and so on. As an amateur, we did it as good as we could. Eventhough maybe it was still so rough and messy. But we love it. We love what we do together.

Until now that house still being 'work in process'. We need a lot of money to renovate it all at once, so.. maybe later. That's why i really want to have a good job with good salary so i can support my family and build them a decent house and life. In the making.

There are still so many 'unique' things that my family do in our lives. Until now we're still struggling to survive in this live. I have got a job but it seems like i haven't done anything valuable to my family. I still have so many dreams and hope for them. I don't wanna see them struggle for the entire of their life. I wanna see them happy everyday.

My parents have tought me how to face bitter conditions. How to stay strong and creative in cheating this life. Because like my father said "there's nothing impossible. Nothing we cannot do. If we can see it, then we absolutely can do it."
My father showed me that have to fight for everything we dream of. With anything we have, anything we can. Because nothing can stop us. Not that unlucky conditions as well.
Bitter conditions should make us stronger. And more creative.
He doesn't need to tell me all of that lessons. I have known it from long time ago with everything i see.

My mother? She is the strongest woman i've ever known. I know that she can always abandon my father because of his condition. (It nealry happened once, when they had a big fight when i was 8). But still, she chose to be with her husband, to support him, support our fanily with anything she could do. I realize that sometimes she thinks of her opportunity to get a job and abandon the family (not permanently, of course). But she never really do that. Later i found out that she couldn't left my father for so long time because they need each other.

Everytime they had big fight and my mother back to my grandparent's house, i saw my father really sad. And he told me that he really loves her. Things that made them fight was because he didn't want to see my mother work so hard and risk her health. Well after some days finally they could resolve their problem.

The lesson is, everyone has their own thoughts. And sometimes it can start a fight. Different opinion, different point of view. But by the name of love, sure we can solve all of these problems.

I learn a lot of things from my parents. Maybe they aren't the best parents in the world. They don't give me the same things like my friends' parents do to their children. But what i'm saying is that i am so proud about them. I'm so proud to have parents that teach me so many life lessons that i can bring in my own life. I'm proud of our past, out present, and can't wait to see how proud i am with our future.
Eventhough it's still so long way to go to make them all happy and proud of me, but i'm on my way.

I learned to:
- always work hard to achieve anything we want
- be creative. Nothing's impossible, so just do whatever in front of our eyes. Dream big, but live our nearest present first
- live modestly
- never undervalue other people. Everyone has gone through so many things that we don't know. They have their own problems, so don't judge or undervalue them
- keep on going and live our lives eventhough people thinks we won't make it. Remember, miracle exists
- don't look at what others' have. But look at how hard their struggle to achieve that
- be patient. With hard work, we can achieve our dreams, one by one
- never leave your family. Or your significant ones. The people you really love. Always support them, love them, be there for them, and help them to be anything they were meant to be.

Thanks for all the lessons. And i still learn from you all until now.
I hope you're also proud to have me as your daughter, bu, pah.