Tuesday, April 13, 2010

demotivation..

huaaa
rasanya kaya pengen jerit jerit!!

Entah kenapa sekarang gw jadi demot gini.
Di saat profesionalitas, komitmen, dan loyalitas dituntut untuk selalu prima, gw malah demot gini.
Padahal perasaan kemaren gw baru aja seneng seneng, refreshing..
Harusnya kan fresh,, bukan demot T.T

what the hell happen on me??
Oh i know..
Apa akar dari ke-demot-an gw ini..

Well,
perhaps im not as good as the others
perhaps im not as special as the others
perhaps im not as perfect as the others
perhaps im not as worthy as the others
perhaps im not as bright as the others
perhaps im not as smart as the others..

But im just me,
someone who just wanna try to give my best
im just me,
who just wanna live my life to the fullest
im just me,
who often fall down and scream and cry and burried in the silence
im just me,
who have to nurture myself when im down

im sorry for all my faults
im sorry for all my limitations
im sorry for all my stupidness

but i continue learning
i continue climbing
i continue pushing
i continue smiling
i continue shining

but im just me..
I have no achievement
i have no experience
i have no specialties
i have no everything that they have
everything that they've achieved
im just me..

That's all really really ruin my mood and makes me become demot like this
poor me T.T

10 comments:

Van Der Woodsen said...

Forgiving. Is the best way to keep moving on.
So, try to forgive urself

gayatri-ardila said...

but it's so difficult je..
I dont even know how to forgive myself
im so weak T.T

Van Der Woodsen said...

what make u so weak ?
the heart is stronger than you think.
don't give a label to urself

gayatri-ardila said...

yeaa
you're what you think you are
*i still remember that words

but..hmm dunno
just wanna scream out loud

Van Der Woodsen said...

just scream then ....

seriously, what's going on ?

gayatri-ardila said...

If only i could je..T.T

you know, demot demot and demot,
i dont have any specialties
i am sooo ordinary.standard.stagnant.
I have thousands of idea, thoughts, but no one i can deliver it.
I often hate and curse myself bcause of it.
Just speak up!!
*but i cant
and it drives me crazy.
Always

i just screaming and crying and hating myself..self nurturing with no progress at all
*dah mulai ngelantur ini

Van Der Woodsen said...

yeah demot , demot , demot pasti kan ada sebabnya.

cari penyaluran donk untuk menyalurkan semua idea itu.

gayatri-ardila said...

Iya,, tp gimana dong?
Justru kalo demot jadi males ngapa2in.

Sbenernya penyebabnya lebih ke masalah akademis sih..kayak ga maksimal aja selama ini.
Akhirnya mulai menyibukkan diri ikut organisasi..walaupun sedikit tersalurkan, tp masih ada aja faktor penyebab demot.
Ga tau ni aneh.
Kamu kalo lg demot ngapain je?

Van Der Woodsen said...

kalo lagi demot ? DIEM ... dan ga ngomong sama siapa - siapa. mengasingkan diri

kayak sekarang. ga tau kenapa.
Tiba - tiba down, kesel , bete, marah tapi ga tau kenapa.

pernah ga sih kayak gitu ?

gayatri-ardila said...

Nah tuh kan..demot=lemot=diem

aku sering bgt tu kaya gitu.tiba tiba down, kesel, marah ga jelas.
Jadi pengen jerit2..
Dan sampe skarang masih belum nemuin cara terbaik buat ngatasin itu.
Paling seharian diem di kamar dengerin lagu2 rock, yg emo-emo gt kalo perlu, sambil nyanyi jerit-jerit.
Lumayan ngebantu.
Coba aj je..hehe

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