still, raining

it's raining raining... oh baby it's raining raining..
*bener ga ya kayak gitu liriknya? hoho

alright, memang tidak seharusnya saya "keep raining", padahal dunia aja tersenyum penuh kehangatan. dan bener juga kalo kita berpikiran sedih, demot, dan stress ya yang ada akan bener2 kayak gitu jadinya. and well, sekarang udah lumayan terasa lah efeknya. efek think positive dan stop mengeluh. yeah, moga aja efeknya bertahan lama. haha

you are what you think you are.
so.. who am I?
i dont even know who I am.
parah

oke, let say... saya adalah seorang yang sedang mulai untuk mencoba lebih kuat dan tangguh, mencoba mengurangi kadar 'mengeluh' , sedikit demi sedikit. karena pada hakikatnya hidup ini adalah untuk belajar dan mempelajari, maka akan saya dedikasikan waktu dan hidup saya untuk belajar mengurangi ke-mengeluh-an saya.
[aduh ini bahasanya kok malah jadi kayak gini]

well, inspired by salah satu temen aku yang hmmm let say paling jago kalo masalah kasih input penyemangat dan lagu2 yang so inspiring juga... haha
so thank you buat kasih tau ada lagu ini. udah berapa lagu ya yang punya pengaruh signifikan di aku? hmm... ratusan! :D

salah satunya yang terbaru (baru dikasih tau maksudnya :D)... Fighter, Christina Aguilera

After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end
I wanna thank you 'cause you made that much stronger

Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were there by my side, always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mhm

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that
I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it

Chorus:
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
Chorus:
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter



How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended to not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
YOU-WON'T-STOP-ME

I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough

Chorus:
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter


Thought I would forget, but I
I remember
Cause I remember
I remember

*that was my first posting, yang trus disimpen ke draft dan belum sempet dipublish. tadi pagi udah kesiangan kuliah soalnya. masih cukup though lah waktu itu.

and you know? how's my condition right now? still, raining!
am I that weak, uh?
kejadian di kampus seharian tadi bener2 udah sukses buat bikin semua usaha aku selama ini buat 'terlihat' kuat tuh jadi kayak sia-sia. setiap masalah pasti ada di setiap orang, yes i realize that. dan saya amat sangat 'menghargai' kenyataan bahwa every single problem occurs when i go outside. when i start to move on.
hmmm jadi mikir kalo gitu mending ga usah keluar-keluar aja sekalian. but the life must go on... and these all problems must go on as well. [apa sih ga jelas]

intinya, aku masih rapuh banget even buat hadapin kenyataan besok di depan mata. ternyata aku lemah banget. selama ini cuma berlagak sok kuat, sok bisa ngelakuin semuanya, padahal sebenernya di dalam hati menjerit keras!! [sumpah ini lebay]
dan kali ini, kembali aku menangis. kembali kau menjerit. dan mengeluh.
maaf..